I've been down the whole week. As in buong week. I've been crying myself to sleep every night. I wake up still with tears in my eyes. I go to school with my mask, hoping nobody would notice what's bothering me. I survived the whole week with only two people asking me if I was okay...and I'm fine with that. Actually, I'm thankful that only two people noticed...uh, they won't even know it if I din't ask for their help.
Me: Sana naging clown na lang ako.
Jino: Para matawanan mo sarili mo? Ahahaha.
Me: Hindi. Gusto ko maging clown para naman may mapasaya ako.
Had that conversation with Jino a few days back. I've thought about it. I realized that that's not the only reason why I wanted to be a clown. I want to be a clown so I can hide my loneliness behind that green hair, red nose and big, red, phony smile drawn to my face. I don't want people to see that I'm breaking. It's hard to put that act up. Especially for me.
Hai.
Excess: I'm planning of moving to Xanga.
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