It's a wrap!

Major changes in life. For me, that's what 2005 was all about. It wasn't easy coping with these changes. Most of these made me an entirely different person from what the others have perceived of me. Many people came in, some left and a very few stayed. As I've said before, it's not easy but we have to move on. We have to leave the things that we have to leave and think about what lies ahead.

Some of you know how hard 2005 was for me. From the start (Dean, Kam, yung puyentang babaeng yun. Hahaha.) till the end (BonoSoc + Jino + Fuckers, alam niyo na yun.), I've been struggling. They were too much for me but these hardships made me so much stronger. They made me look at life in a different perspective.

As 2005 comes to a close, I want you to know that I was grateful that all these things happened but I most certainly have to move on. There's so much waiting for me, it would be such a waste if I drown myself with the past.

I would want to thank the people who have always been there for me, making all these burdens lighter.

To my Family, I know I'm such a brat at home. Thank you for staying with me and for guiding me. I'm really thankful I have you. I love you all.

To the BonoSoc, I don't know what I'd be in La Salle without you guys. I don't know how the group came to being but I don't care about that now. What's important is I have you guys and I'm certain that I won't forget you. It was really quite a journey for all of us, those two terms. 2005 would not be as much fulfilling for me if it weren't for you guys. I love you all and I'll see you in school.

To the Fuckers, I know that 2005 wasn't our year. We fought a lot and we've kept so much from each other. But I want you to know that whatever happens, I got your back. I love you guys. I hope you forgive me.

To Jopet, I know that everything between us is so fucked up right now. But I just want you to know that I'm thankful I had you. You opened my eyes to a lot of things and you made me stronger, really. The journey was hard for the both of us and in the end, we had to part ways. I din't regret anything. If you need anything, you still have a friend in me. Thank you for everything.

To Cuyegs, 2005 was the start of our bestfriendship but it seems to me it was also the end. I don't want to think the thought but it keeps on coming back. It's really hard for me. I miss you so much. But still, whatever happens, you have me. I'm willing to listen if you have problems and to kick you in the butt when you do something wrong. It's my job, I'm your bestfriend.

And lastly, to Jino, thank you for everything. I know that I can be such a brattinella and a drama queen but you're still there, willing to listen to everything I'll say. Thanks for listening to my nonsense blabs till the wee hours in the morning. Thanks for staying with me till 7pm in school. Thanks for not waking me up when I'm asleep. Thanks for staying, for waiting. Thanks for everything, Jino. You don't know how grateful I am to have you. "Meron lang".

As part of my moving on, I'm going to move to another blog.

http://www.xanga.com/noregretsss

**Henrik, don't worry, Imma put up a tagboard there.

CHEERS TO 2K6, KIDS!

Tagal mag-January 1...

Hahaha. I'm excited to move to Xanga. Hahaha. Wala lang. Can somebody put a tagboard in my account there? ...or turuan niyo na lang ako kung san ilalagay dun. Hehehe. Di ko alam kung panu dun e.

***

Kariz Mae's dad passed away this morning. 3:33am, to be exact. Her dad's body is in Arlington Araneta near SM Center Point, if I'm not mistaken. To those who knows her, she needs us now, more than ever. Prayers are greatly needed.

**Ka, I know na you don't read my blog pero I just want you to know na I'm always here for you. Everything I told you pag nakakatext kita, totoo yun. Be strong, Kariz. You'll make it through this, I know it. Be strong, Ka. He's in good hands now. Condolence.

***

Yesterday, the Tropa was in Galle. Si JR kasi nakalabas na sa mga pader ng seminaryo at nagyayang manood ng sine. Since minsan lang humiling si JR, I went there. Met up with them sa Skybowl. It's been a while since I hungout there. The last time I was there was second year high and I don't even want to remember what my last memories of Skybowl were. So, anyway, we played pool. NATALO NAMIN NI ALFREANNE SILA JELO AT JR! Wahoop! Partida, dun lang kami natuto maglaro ng billiards. Hindi nila kami pinagbigyan, patalo lang talaga si JR. Hahaha. We waited for Purple for 'round 1 hour and for Dean for 3 hours. Hehehe.

Met up with Dean and Sam in Mcdo. The last time I've seen Sam was in Kiara's debut, I think. And that was when? September? So I really got psyched when I saw her. Kwentuhan.

Purple treated Polgene coffee. My mouth watered when I saw them walk out of Starbucks. Pag tinamaan ka nga naman ng lintik, makakabola ka ng babae. Hahaha.

While walking near Popeye's, my eyes popped (woeh?). I can't believe it. After what seemed like eternity (which is good), ayun. Nakita ko nanaman siya. I can't believe na girly-girl na siya at may boyfriend na siya. Hmmm...What has Dean have to say about this? Abangan ang susunod na kabanata. Ayy...Sinusubukan lang, baka pumatok. *wink*

So anyway, hindi makapaniwala yung mga gunggong na yun na hindi pa ako ulit lumalabas since course card distribution dahil CLA daw ako, dapat marami daw parties na inaatendan. E so what kung CLA ako? Hahaha. Best college in La Salle! CLA! Wahoop! O, walang kokontra.

Dean tapped my shoulder and asked me to come with him when the boys were playing billiards the second time around. We walked a bit and talked a lot. There's so much that me and Dean have in common. Well, for starters, we came from the same gradeschool and are part of the same barkada...Pero seryoso, that guy and I have sooooo much in common. Hah, kahit sa ugali. Kaya nagkasundo kami. And that's the same reason he probably has kaya sakin siya lagi lumalapit when he has problems. Obviously, I can't post his problem here 'cause that will give away something about me too since we went through the same thing. (That gave you some clues, eh?)

At the end of the day, we met up with Sammy's barkada. I hungout with them for a while since yung tropa e uuwi na sa Paranaque (yeah, they agreed to meet in Galle). Bonding with Crespo 'cause Sam, Hazel and Nezie had to go.

Damn. Those people, kahit sobrang bored na kaming lahat, okay lang. Masaya parin kahit nagtititigan lang kami. Ewan ko ba.

***

Did you ever get that feeling na you can't breathe and your chest just wants to explode? Yun bang parang sa dami ng mga bagay na tinatago mo, they are now looking for a way out? I felt that way last night. I just had to let it all out. Everything that has been bothering me for the past years. The secrets I've kept from EVERYONE. My thoughts that even my bestfriends don't know...EVERYTHING! It was just too much for me to handle. Especially when you told me "May mga bagay na masakit pag binalikan". Actually, that started everything.

It was good to let everything out, to tell you everything. To let you know who I really am and what I'm really all about. After everything I've been through, you still accepted me. That means a lot to me. I can't thank you enough.

I can't think of anything to blog about but I'm here, updating...

Since I can't think of anything to blog, I'm going to start with my usual shout outs.

..My #10...uh, Kabit? Hahaha. Teka, asan ka ba? Miss call ka lang ng miss call sakin, di mo pa nirereplyan mga email ko. Di naman ako maka-reply sa text mo nung Pasko kasi feeling ko long distance mangyayari e 4 pesos na lang load ko nung mga panahong yun. Hahaha. Anyway, I miss you. Asan ka ba kasi talaga? Hrmph. Ingat ka jan. Di nga pala ako nakapagpaalam ng maayos. Wala lang. Love you, DUDE. Hahahaha. Kidding.

..Kuya Nico, hindi pa ulit kita naaabutang online since nung 24 ng umaga dito. Hahaha. Musta Canada? Malamig ba jan? Hahaha. Joke. Anyway, umuwi ka na dito. Natutulala na lang si Cor dito sa sobrang pagka-miss sa'yo. Pasalubong namin ha, wag kalimutan. Kidding, Kuya. May kwento pala ako sa'yo pagbalik mo dito or pag naabutan kitang online. Hehehe.

..Cuyegs, sabi ko na wala nanaman akong maririnig galing sa'yo e. Hmph. I knew it. Pero okay lang. Alam mo naman ako, okay lang sakin lahat. Mag-JOY ka na lang, Christmas season naman e.

..Kamille Loren and Dean, thanks for everything. I know na anjan kayo lagi, ready to back me up, if ever. Hehehe. Kaso lang, wag kayo masyadong warfreak. Hahaha. Love you guys.

..[lost], uh, mukha ngang lost ka. Hahaha. Joke. Uh, kung sino ka man, mukhang matagal na kitang friend. Or, if not, naging masyadong close tayo. Whatever happened to our friendship, I just want to tell you na I do everything for my friends. Kung hindi na sila masaya sa company ko, I let them be. Kung ang nangyari satin e nag-fall apart yung friendship, siguro naman I did everything I could do to save the friendship. I think I know who you are and if I'm right, I know that you know na hindi ako yung tipo na ako yung lalapit. Yung sa bitaw part, I think you've let me go and I've let go. Gets? I think I just lost hope na mababalik pa yung dating treatment natin sa isa't isa. Yeah, we are magulo and all when we're together pero ewan. Parang iba na. May gap na. Ewan ko. We're both at fault here. I really want things between us to be back to where they used to be pero kung mas masaya ka sa ibang bagay o tao, then go there. Madali naman akong kausap e. Masaya ako pag nakikita kitang masaya. Kahit di ko na malaman ang rason ng kasiyahan mo, okay lang. Basta masaya ka, masaya na ko.

..YOU, I miss you. Thank you for always being there.

***

I'm soooooooo freakin' bored.

Sana magpasukan na... :D

Technically, I still have one and a half weeks here in Blogger.

Yesterday, our course cards got released. I wasn't really expecting much. I mean, I was more of a bum than a student the past term. I cut a lot and when I'm in class, my mind is elsewhere. My grades suprised me.

PETEAMS - 4.0 (Forte ko ata PE e)
KASPIL1 - 3.5 (Ito ang subject na lagi akong wala)
LBYCH05 - 3.5 (Weird. Hindi ako nakapasa ng Finals pero 3.5 parin)
ARTSCHE - 3.0 (Weirdest of all. Wala akong ginawa sa class na 'to)
INTPHIL - 3.0 (Natulog lang ako sa class niya buong term, tres parin)
INSTUDI - 3.0 (Ito ang career subject ko the whole term. Sayang)
NSTP-C1 - 3.0 (Uhhh...)
ENGLTWO - 2.5 (Okay, majority of the class got this kind of grade)
ALGE101 - 1.0 (I HATE MATH.)

Nakita niyo naman, if it weren't for Math, I'd be a Dean's Lister. Punyeta. Pero my grades this term are so much better than my grades last term. I'm actually thankful. I don't know kung Pasko lang ba at pinagbigyan ako ng lahat ng prof ko or I really deserve the numbers. Well, either way, I'm happy.

Stayed 'till around 7 in school. Natulog lang sa Amphi. Jino, sorry na, lagi na kitang tinutulugan. E panu naman, ang sayang matulog sa Amphi, sa ilalim ng mga bituin. Hahaha. Kagulo.

Nico was supposed to give me something yesterday. Actually, he did give it to me. Pero pumayag akong ibigay niya yun sa prof niya. Wahoop. Wala lang. Nag-request ako na i-record niya yung version niya ng Kahit Kailan. Puchek. I wanna hear it, Kuya.

Bumped into April yesterday before going to J214 to get my course card in ALGE101. She told me EVERYTHING I needed to know. After talking to her, na-realize ko na sobrang tagal ko nang nagpapakatanga. Everything that the people around him are telling are the truth. Na ang tanga ko kasi I din't take his brother's word for it. Hai. After that talk with April, I totally lost it. I cried in J214 kasi ang tanga-tanga ko at feeling ko talaga babagsak ako sa ALGE101 (good thing, naka-1 ako).

***

(Sa susunod na paragraph, magdo-drop ako ng names.)

IKAW. Ang tagal niyo na pala. Did you think hindi ko malalaman? Mali lang yang kaibigan mo dahil sa dinami-dami ng mga babae sa mundo, yung may pinsan pang Paulinian ang napili niya. At hindi lang basta-basta Paulinian, ka-close ko pa. Tsktsk. Ewan ko lang ha. Pero when Manats happened, galit na galit ka sakin. Hindi mo ako kinakausap na parang niloko na talaga kita. FYI, hindi naging kami unlike you and your crapload of a blockmate na punyeta, ang tagal niyo na pala. Pucha. Alam mo, hindi ako naniniwala sa mga sinabi sakin ni Jesse before. Sana pala naniwala na lang ako. Pucha. You should've told me. Punyeta talaga. Hinayaan mo akong magmukhang tanga for 3 years? Alam mo, I should've gotten a clue na you were with someone. Sino ba namang makakatiis na hindi makita yung mahal niya? Well, I guess you don't kasi lagi mo siyang kasama. Putangina. If you're going to give me your mom as an excuse, well, pakasalan mo yang nanay mo. Konting oras lang hiningi ko sa'yo, hindi mo mabigay. I have nothing against your mom. She's a great person. Alam kong gusto niya ako for you but what the hell, ikaw pa ata ang may ayaw sakin para sa sarili mo. Diyan ka na lang kaya sa Ana mo? That phone call when I was in Thrid Year. Putangina. Siya na yun e. Wag mong ipagkaila sakin. Ana Eusuya. Feeling ko, hindi yan si Angel e. Yung nakausap kong putangina nung nandun ako kila Tanya, I think it's her. Pucha. Kung sa tingin mo hindi ko malalaman ang lahat ng yan, putangina, nagkakamali ka. Another thing. Hindi nagsasamantala si Jino sa mga nangyayari. He was there nung wala ka. Lahat ng hinahanap ko sa'yo, siya nakapagbigay. Kung nanjan ka lagi, do you think aabot dun sa point na siya na yung hinahanap ko? Sakto dating niya, sobra. Nung hindi ko na kaya yung hindi tayo nagkikita. Nung nasasakal na ako sayo. Lahat. Hai ewan. Don't make it look like I'm two-timing you kasi I'm not. You are. Putangina, dalawang taon yun. And I'm so damn stupid not to see it.

***

I guess that's everything.

New life, new blog.

I'm moving to
http://www.xanga.com/noregretsss
by January 1, 2006.